Years ago I decided to buy a gift for myself on Mother’s Day and Christmas, knowing it would be a gift from my children.


For those of you who read my blog, social media posts, and my book know that goldfinches represent my children to me.  I feel my children when I see them and those beautiful birds fill my heart with love.

My husband, Todd, and I went shopping on Mother’s Day for finch feeders.  We went to our local Wild Birds Unlimited® and the store associate was so kind and helpful.   I felt like a kid in a candy store. I finally decided on my finch feeder as well as another bird feeder for the new shepherd hook I had at home.  After purchasing the feeder and seed, Todd and I headed home to assemble my gifts.

We strategically placed those feeders so I could see them from my kitchen window as well as from my sunroom.  My sunroom is my favorite room in my house. And since May, I find myself spending more time in that room just so I can sit and watch my birds.  I have a wide variety of birds regularly now, including several finches.


On July 10th, the 20 year anniversary of losing my children, I took the day off work and stayed home.  It was a beautiful day and I sat outside on the deck. Remarkably two male finches and one female came to the feeder.  As I watched and listened to the finches, I thought of my children and sent love to Sean, Jarod, and Brandi.

The feeders were the perfect Mother’s Day gift and I enjoy them every day.


I encourage anyone who is grieving to do the same – find joy in a gift that reminds you of your lost loved one.  That gift could be an event, a song, or a tangible gift like a Christmas ornament, a memory book (whether made by you or using something like Shutterfly®, a nightlight…or a bird feeder.  These gifts remind me to have courage and strength as I go through life without my children. They help me feel connected to them. When I hear the song, “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, I always stop and say, “Hello, Brandi.  I love and miss you!”


Find your “bird feeder” and let it fill your heart with the love of your lost loved one!